When Your Energy Doesn’t Match Your Life Anymore
Why midlife tired isn’t a personal failure—and one tiny shift to protect your mental health.
Hey there—
When Your Energy Doesn’t Match Your Life Anymore
At some point in midlife, a lot of us look around and think:
“No wonder I’m tired.”
Work, kids, house, relationships, decisions. The logistics alone are a full-time job.
And yet there’s this other, quieter voice that remembers who you used to be:
Staying out late with friends and still getting up early for a run.
Powering through long days without feeling wiped by dinner.
Now you’re eyeing the clock at 7 pm, counting down until bed, and wondering:
When did my energy stop matching the life I’m trying to live?
Here’s the reframe:
Your exhaustion is not a personal failure. It’s a signal.
And one of the biggest areas it’s signaling?
Sleep and rest.
How Sleep + Rest Shape Your Mental Health
We talk about sleep like it’s a nice extra.
But for your brain, sleep is closer to basic maintenance:
When you sleep, your brain clears out waste, sorts memories, and helps reset your emotional system.
When you don’t sleep enough (or your sleep is fragmented), your nervous system stays on high alert. Small things feel bigger. Your fuse gets shorter.
Over time, chronic low sleep is linked with more anxiety, more depressive symptoms, more irritability, and less ability to focus or follow through.
That spiral of “I’m exhausted, emotional, and behind on everything” isn’t just in your head. Your brain and body are literally running on less.
For mothers in midlife, this often shows up as:
Quicker overwhelm. The same workload suddenly feels impossible.
More negative self-talk. Your brain leans toward “I’m failing” when it’s actually just tired.
Less capacity for joy. Things you know you love feel flat because there’s no fuel left to feel them.
Most of us try to out-hustle our tiredness instead of tending to it.
We add more coffee.
We push through the evening.
We stay up late scrolling “for me time” because there was no space in the day.
We’re asking a midlife body and nervous system to perform like they did in a completely different season of life.
What If Rest Wasn’t a Reward, But a Requirement?
One of the most powerful shifts in this phase of life is moving from:
“I’ll rest when everything’s done,” to “Rest is part of how things get done.”
Especially for mothers, rest is not selfish. It’s protective:
For your mood
For your ability to cope
For the way you show up to the people you love
When you sleep a bit more, or rest a bit more on purpose, you’re not just “being lazy.” You’re giving your brain the resources it needs to be resilient, kind, and creative again.
There are still real limits — kids, work, aging parents, money, life. But within those limits, small, realistic shifts can help your system exhale.
Intern Move of the Week (2 minutes)
A Gentle Energy Reset
This is not a 5 am bootcamp or a 17-step routine.
It’s a tiny experiment in treating your energy like it matters.
Grab your notes app or a scrap of paper. Set a 2-minute timer.
1. Name your energy honestly.
On a scale from 0–10, where 0 is “bone-deep empty” and 10 is “I could run a marathon,” where are you today?
Write the number. No judgment. Just data.
2. Pick one energy-supporting behavior for the week.
Circle one that feels doable in this season (not fantasy you):
Go to bed 20–30 minutes earlier one night this week.
Trade one night of doom-scrolling for a quiet, no-phone wind-down (shower, stretch, book, breathing).
Build in a 10-minute rest pocket during the day: sit, lie down, or stare out the window without multitasking.
If your fatigue feels extreme or new, add: “Ask my doctor about fatigue, sleep, hormones, or labs (like iron/thyroid).”
You are not committing to a total life overhaul. You’re trying one small shift and noticing how you feel.
3. Write one sentence of permission.
Finish one of these:
“I’m allowed to rest before I completely crash because…”
“I’m choosing this small change because I want to feel…”
Let it be simple and true:
“I’m allowed to rest before I completely crash because I am a human being, not a machine.”
Keep that sentence where you’ll see it this week.
—
Midlife doesn’t mean you’ll feel tired forever.
But it does ask you to renegotiate how you treat your body, your time, and your nervous system.
Your low energy isn’t proof you’re failing.
It’s an invitation to listen, soften, and build a life that makes room for the version of you who exists now — not the one who could run on three hours of sleep and a dream.
See you next Sunday,
Danielle