Belonging Without Performance
A small reminder: you’re allowed to have an offline life.
Hey there—
I love the nostalgia that’s come with the 90s comeback. And while younger generations are turning to the clothes and the vibes, I think those of us who lived it feel a stronger pull.
I think it’s about a feeling a lot of us miss: belonging without performance.
Back then, connection wasn’t something you curated. It wasn’t optimized or documented. It just happened.
You’d call your friend’s house, ask their parents if they were home, then coordinate the plan: meet at the high school parking lot. Sit on the hood of each other’s cars. Talk about nothing and everything. Music playing. Time moving slower.
You didn’t “capture the moment.”
You were the moment.
And even when you did capture it, it was different.
You’d develop a throwaway camera roll and have no idea what you were going to get. Blurry. Smudged. Half of someone’s face. Everyone mid-laugh. And somehow those imperfect photos brought so much joy when they landed in your albums.
Nothing had to be polished to be worth keeping.
What I miss most is how offline life felt.
Not because it was perfect.
Because it was lighter.
You could live a whole day without narrating it.
You could have fun without proving you had fun.
You could feel connected without translating your life into something shareable.
And today, it’s easy for life to become something we’re living and managing and quietly presenting all at once.
Especially in the mom world.
There’s a particular kind of pressure that floats around motherhood. It’s not always intentional. Sometimes it’s packaged as “tips” or “inspiration.” But it can still land like a scoreboard:
the lunches
the routines
the family moments
the “good mom” energy
the sense that everyone else has figured something out you missed
And even if you never post a thing, you can still feel it.
Because we’re all swimming in it.
So, this is your Sunday reminder:
You’re allowed to have an offline life.
A life where your attention belongs to you.
Where moments don’t become tasks.
Where you can be present without also being “on.”
Intern Move of the Week (2 minutes)
Practice one small “offline moment” every day this week.
Pick one:
Do one everyday thing without your phone. Coffee, lunch, folding laundry, a quick errand.
Takeaway: Presence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a choice we can practice in tiny ways.Take a walk with no extras. No podcast. No audiobook. No “productive” add-on.
Takeaway: Quiet isn’t empty. It’s restorative.
Not because technology is bad.
Because your brain deserves less input.
And your life deserves to feel lived again.
See you next Sunday,
Danielle